Guest Blog - The Barnet Oscars (pronounced Barney Toss-cars) - By Barnet Council Insider

By Barnet Council Insider,

 

Last week, Barnet Council had its 'inaugural' People Values Awards Ceremony to recognise the achievements of  20 staff across the council. I wondered how many of the same staff would actually still be Barnet Council employees this time next year, when the next ceremony supposedly comes around. A few of them in the photograph on the intranet looked like they already knew the answer.

 

As it's the time of Awards and Oscars, I wondered if the bloggers had any nominations of their own (daft question I know), and whether they would combine a bloggers awards ceremony with the premiere of 'A Tale of Two Barnets' at the Phoenix Cinema in March?

 

My television was on the blink last night, so instead, I started making a few suggestions here below.

 

Best Film/contract nominations

      'Great Expectations'...................... screenplay by Watt (The) Dickens, starring Jean 'Capita' Simmonds,

                                                            produced by 'The  Biggest Aspirational Benefits' Company

                                                            (whose other credits include 'Space Odyssey',

                                                            'Reach for the Sky', 'A Bridge too Far'  and 'Field of Dreams'

                                                           

      'Dial M for Murder (of Liverpool City Public Finances)' …...........  BT productions

      'Saving Privatising Ryan'.............The Bidding Brothers Inc. 

      'Brief Encounter'  …..................The wRank Organisations (nomination now withdrawn/with OFT)

      'Apocalypse Now'.................... special effects provided by the

                                                               'We're not touching The Huge Reserves' Company                                                                                                                          

     'The Day After Tomorrow' …....produced by

                                                                'Now we have to touch The Huge Reserves' Company

     'Brewsters Millions' ….............. produced by United Consultant  Artists

      'Passchendaele'.........................produced by Warnout Brothers

     'The Pursuit of Happyness'.........produced by BAPS

     'Gone With The Wind' ..............directed by Barnet Council 

 

  Best international film/contract nominations

    'Abu Dhabi Doo' …........................ Directed by Fred 'Bam Bam Thank you Mam' Flintstone,

                                                                                                                             NSL productions

   ' Ice Cold in Croydon'......................NSL productions

 

   Best film/contract in a foreign language nominations

   'Bangalore or Bust'..........................  BT productions

   'The Interpreter'............................... BT productions

                                                                                   

    Best Script writing nomination

      The Huge Reserves Company.............. for 'Terms of  non-Endearment',

                                                     'The leaked Minority Report', 

                                                     'The leaked Pelican Brief'

                                                     'No Sense and No Sensibility',  

                                                     'It's transparently Complicated',

                                                     'The Silencing of the Union Lambs', 

                                                     'Enigma', 

                                                     'The Evaluation Da Vinci Code'

 

 Best Adaptation of a Shakespeare play nominations

     'I, Cornelius'....................................................by Richard Cornelius

     'A Mid Summers Night CSO Dream' …........ co-starring warren Beatty and richard 'EC' Harris 

 

    Best actor nominations

      Eric Pickles....................................in 'Superman'

      Mr. Mustard..................................as Poirot in 'Murder on the Metpro Express'

                                                          as James Bond in 'FOIs Only'

                                                          as Robert Langdon in 'The Da Vinci Code'

     'Bunker' Bill Murphy...................... in  'Groundhog day'  and 'Iron Man'

     Mr. Reasonable............................. in 'To Sirs With Love' and 'The Belles of St.Trinians'

 

  Best Supporting Actor nominations 

      Bill 'Murray' Murphy.................................. in  'CSO Busters'

      Richard 'EC' Harris and Conway Twitty........in 'The Misfits' and 'The Odd Couple'

                                                                       (Conway Twitty nomination now withdrawn)

 

  Best Actress/Supportng Actress nominations

      Joan Crawford and Jean 'Capita' Simmonds......….....in 'Mommie DRS'

      Mrs.Angry …....................................................... as 'Erin Brockovich'

      CitizenBarnet.........................................................as Clarice Starling in

                                                                                  'The Silencing of the Union Lambs' 

                                                                                  (written by The Huge Reserves Company)

 Best Original Film Song

     'Man or a Muppet'................................................by too many involved in this - still shortlisting

 

 Honorary Academy Award

    The Barnet Five Bloggers......................................Best Adaptation of an Enid Blyton Book

 

   Life Time Achievement Award...................................... Rog T    

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Actually, this wasn't sent to me as a Guest blog, just something to make me chuckle by one of my regular emailers within the ranks of Barnet Council Employees, but as it certainly made me chuckle, I deemed it worthy of guest blog status. Feel free to add your nominations below.